NYC Beard and Moustache Championships Blog

The View

2006-05-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

The winner and judges from The New York City Beard and Moustache Championships on ABC's The View today!

Jon B on WGN in Chicago

2006-05-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

Here's an mp3 of the interview.

Gothamist on NYCBMC

2006-05-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

Here's the link

NYCBMC in the Wall Street Journal

2006-05-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

The Competition Was Thick and Growing
By JOANNE KAUFMAN
May 18, 2006; Page D8

New York

It was almost midnight Tuesday, and soon Graham Veysey's mustache would be history. This facial extravaganza he'd been nurturing and grooming since he decided a month and a half ago to enter The New York City Beard and Moustache Championships had taken him to the finals in his division. But glory was one thing, continued employment quite another.

While his boss understands and applauds the competitive spirit, "he gave me a directive," said Mr. Veysey. "After tonight I've got to shave it off."

A television producer, Mr. Veysey had briefly considered growing a mustache while at Bates College but then decided to run for student body president -- he won -- and "having it just would not have been appropriate," he said. At age 24, with politics and idealism behind him, a prize-winning soup strainer was the next big goal. Mr. Veysey likens his mustache to that of porn star John Holmes but, even with his face foliage, is the sort you'd inevitably describe as clean cut. "I had doubts about coming here," he confessed, "but it's like the New York Marathon. You know the Kenyans are going to win, but you compete anyway."

The New York City Championships, which attracted some two-dozen competitors and a capacity crowd of 400, came about as a way to publicize "Splitting Hairs," a documentary in the works about the World Beard and Moustache Championship (WBMC), a biennial event to determine the best in 17 categories.

These include the Dali mustache (a thin wisp with an upward tilt); the Wild West mustache (Wyatt Earp's your guy); the Imperial chin and cheek beard (think Kaiser Wilhelm I); the full beard natural (contestants in this group must forswear styling aids like gel or wax); and full beard freestyle (the most recent winner at the international level had whiskers shaped like the Brandenburg Gate). Costumes are welcomed -- in fact, encouraged.

The New York event held at the Knitting Factory, a music club in lower Manhattan, was a far more modest affair than the WBMC, with a mere four categories. These included "patchy," apparently for those who lack the hair-withal for a full beard. "We were going to have a category for people who resemble Kenny Rogers, but no one signed up," said the competition's organizer, Jon Friedman, referring to the pop-country star.

"People want to find a way to be seen and to be known for something, and not everyone is athletic," continued Mr. Friedman, explaining the contestants' collective psyche. "These people have found a way through facial hair to compete."

Those dissatisfied with this explanation may want to direct further questions to Phil Olsen, the founder of the World Beard and Moustache Association, a two-year-old organization designed to encourage friendship through friendly international competition. "Why the competition? Maybe it's because men are competitive about everything," said Mr. Olsen, 57, who sports a foot-long beard and who was in town both to judge the event (his day job is settlement conference judge for the Nevada Supreme Court) and to do some recruiting for beard and mustache team U.S.A. "There are some who find this a dubious achievement. I would say it's all in fun. Some people, I think, take it too seriously."

By "some people," Mr. Olsen was no doubt thinking about the Germans. The political infighting at the Olympic Games -- all those niggling debates about the suitability of certain events -- isn't a patch on the disputes in the international facial-hair arena.

According to Mr. Olsen, there are a number of beard and mustache clubs in Germany. The world championships took root in the '90s, when a couple of those clubs decided to meet on the field of display. Subsequently, several other European countries and the U.S. became involved, "but it was always the German organization that pretty much controlled where and when the championships would be held," said Mr. Olsen, who by dint of his impressive beard and his fluent German was able to effect something of a power grab: In 2003, the world championships were held in Carson City, Nev., with a panel of judges that included the chief justice of the Nevada supreme court and the then-reigning Miss Nevada. Look for a rematch in Anchorage, Alaska, in 2009.

"I want the United States to be a force to be reckoned with in international beard and mustache competition," said the doughty Mr. Olsen. "We're way behind the Germans. In Berlin, in 2005, they won 14 out of 17 events." The U.S. triumphed in only one category, a controversial one at that: sideburns. "The Germans didn't want it, because it's not a style of facial hair they recognize," he said.

"The Germans," Mr. Olsen added sternly, "made the rules, they defined the categories, they picked the judges, they determined the venues. Still, they invented the game, and I have to give them credit for that."

On Tuesday night, the local talent in the free-style beard competition didn't stand a chance, what with the presence of German, European and world title holder Heinz Christopher, who appeared set to play Captain Hook and whose luxuriant, pronged foliage could have provided housing for much of Manhattan's avian population. "This will be one of the best competitions I've ever taken part in," he said. "It's not so serious. I hope my being here will give beard presence in the U.S. a boost." Mr. Christopher won his category -- and by far more than a whisker.

"Facial hair needs to be solid -- full and thick," Mr. Olsen explained. "There needs to be a clear line between where the beard is and isn't. Each whisker should add to the overall impression and none should detract from it."

Some audience members were there simply for the diversion, others to window shop. "I love beards," said Jana Kellner, a receptionist from Alberta, Canada, who was taking digital photos of her favorites.

"She's going to choose the one she wants me to grow," said Ms. Kellner's boyfriend, Jamie Mackenzie, an anthropology professor. "And I'm going to grow it to the best of my ability."

Depending on their level of self-confidence or perhaps their blood-alcohol level, contestants simply walked on stage, nodded to the screaming fans and presented themselves to the trio of judges or shimmied and gyrated like John Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever."

Mr. Veysey chose the latter, going so far as to rip off his polo shirt ("there was a tear in it already," he explained later), remove his belt and rope the emcee.

"It was a little embarrassing," he said of his performance. "But I felt I had to put it out there because I'm only going to do this once in my life. I could hide behind the mustache and do things the hairless Graham wouldn't do."

"It changes your personality," agreed Jay Della Valle, a filmmaker who's been working on his handlebar mustache since the fall of 2004. "You start acting and doing things in ways you would never do without a mustache. I started wearing cowboy boots. And," he added, "I live in New Jersey."

Ms. Kaufman writes about the arts and culture for the Journal.

Here's the link.

This is what happened over the weekend.

2006-05-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

NYC BMC on Good Morning America Today

2006-05-15T04:59:00.000-07:00

Contestants and judges from The New York City Beard and Moustache Championships on Good Morning America today between 8AM & 8:30AM.

Update: Here's GMA's NYCBMC Slideshow.

"The Hasidic World Really Needs to Get in on This"

2006-05-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

From Jewschool.com:

"I’m not saying that the Chabadnikim and the Bresloverim and the Gerrerim and whoever else has to go competetive if they don’t want, but come on, boys! We have all these tremendously gigantic beards in our various communities! Why not give them a little bit of style?"

Thanks for link, Scott!

Meet up @ White Horse Tavern, 7pm on Saturday, May 13

2006-05-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

Come out and meet us for a drink. A secret German Beard Champion will be there (he just let us know that he'll be flying in on Saturday). Plus a whole bunch of other beardies + stachies. Here's info on the White Horse Tavern

The Mascot Vote Is Over!*

2006-05-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

The winner will be revealed at the event. There is a chance that this revelation will take the form of a dance number set to this.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while

2006-05-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

On the flipside, I took a shirtless picture of myself and posted it on the internet.

Herr Neas switches categories!

2006-05-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

Look out moustache contestants! Looks like Herr Neas has shaved his beard, and will now be appearing at NYCBMC sporting a devil of an Imperial Moustache. That's gamesmanship!

FunPhaq't^TM: Fans of the World Beard and Moustache Championships are quick to point out that German champion Jurgen Burkhardt sports one of the best Imperial Staches in the world. (Warning: Jurgen's site is mostly in German, and posseses a wide array of international cycling pictures that are garishly photoshopped).

Anyway, back to Herr Neas:

"I am a substitute elementary school teacher in Richmond VA. I carved that moustache out of six months of beard growth to join Moustache May. I am raising money for a children's charity here in Richmond."

Here's a widdle viddy of Herr Neas' new 'stache:

Word is spreading.

2006-05-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

NYCBMC featured in Citysearch and Comedy Central.

Fox: Moustache tattoos the rage in RI

2006-05-03T07:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Lily for sending this link. Also, hat's off to the Fox 25 Studio Team for bookending this story with some stand-out banter.

The Jeremy Rock Video in Pristine Quicktime

2006-05-02T13:34:00.000-07:00

A while back I linked to a music video that Jeremy made many years ago (starring Jeremy!), but it was in a crappy Windows Media format. Here is the nice quicktime version!

More recently, Jeremy made the famous beards tribute.

Phil on MSNBC

2006-05-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

MSNBC's "The Most" with Allison Stewart had BTUSA Captain and "Splitting Hairs" protagonist Phil Olsen on the show yesterday.

Here's the clip.

UPDATE: Hatchy!

2006-05-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

Uh-oh! Looks like Hatchy's plans to win the NYCBMC "Patchy" category may have just hit a rough patch.

Hatchy writes:

"Dear Hatch Fans,

Bad news! Poor Hatchy got ruffed up by his own dog!
Let’s hope that nasty bruise clears up before the big competish...

- The Hatch"

I asked him for more information on the injury, and here's what he had to say:

"I Came home rip-shittied, let the dog out, wrastled a bit, and as far as I can remember, she walked past me (i was on the floor) and her mega-tail whipped across my brow. Within seconds there was a huge goose egg. Must have popped a blood vessel. Had a whole bunch of people over, it was quite the scene."

New Contestant: Tomasino Hooks

2006-04-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

Check out that stache! His slogan is:

"Hooks for look & look for Hooks"

I can't argue with that.

The Beard Stays, You Go!

2006-04-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

Tom wrote in to remind me of this beard-centric sketch from the Kids In The Hall.

Thanks Tom! Here's the YouTube link.

Living with a guy who has a beard

2006-04-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Shin-pei writes:

"Every time I recoil from touching Jon's beard, he tells me that he's conditioned it. I ask him if he's ever trimmed it, looking up-close and askance at all the little strays firing away from the beard body. Doesn't it look trim? He asks. I say no. The beard can hear you, he tells me."

Ladies send your beard/moustache impressions here: nycbmc at gmail dot com. we'll post 'em + maybe do a reading at the event.

New Cereal!

2006-04-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to say anything until it was somewhat official but I finally have my idea and paper work set for my new cereal....the official cereal of the NYC BMC....ok, ready?

MOUSTACHEY - O's!
An Excellent Source of 9 Vitamins & Minerals

Made from crunchy oates and moustache hairs from jailed inmates!

Key Food is interested!!!!

A clump of hair at the bottom of every box!

MOUSTACHEY - O's!

New Contestant: "Karate!"

2006-04-24T13:21:00.000-07:00

Karate! (who also goes by "Lazer Fart") writes:

"my mustache speaks for itself... whispering inaudibly in German."

Here's a link to the full version of Karate!'s picture, which is rather breathtaking.

Doug is coming to NYC!

2006-04-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

The guy in the middle there is Doug Claussen, one of the founders of the Whiskers Club and a subject of "Splitting Hairs," the documentary we're working on. Doug traveled with myself, cameraman Colin Oberschmidt, and WBMC champs Gary Johnson and Frank Madera. Here are some pictures from that trip.

You can watch a short Doug related video clip here.

The picture above shows Gary, Doug and Frank in costume at the 2005 WBMC. As you may be able to tell, Doug likes to dress up like a 19th century "Bowery Boy." However, this year he insisted on including Seattle Seahawks gear in his costume, which I believe is historically inaccurate.

Why there were very few posts over the weekend

2006-04-24T09:41:00.001-07:00

I was trying to install a dimmer switch in the apartment, and accidentally blew out our electricity. Because of a mixture of pride, ignorance and obstinance, we proceeded to be without power for two days. Finally I had to pay an electrician to come and fix the problem. Then, at the end of the day on Sunday when the power had been restored, I broke a chair.

NYC BMC OFFICIAL POSTER

2006-04-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

Poster created by:
Pilar Erika Johnson
www.pilaromatic.com

Jeremy nominates his Own Dad

2006-04-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jeremy wrote in to nominate his Own Dad ("OD") for the lifetime achievement award. Kudos to Jeremy's OD for having such a thoughtful son, and kudos to Jeremy for having an OD who sports such a dreamy stache.

Who is Jeremy? This video clip answers that question pretty well. (Crappy Windows Media only for the time being, but efforts are underway to restore the footage to a format and quality that are more befitting).

New Contestant: Hatchy!

2006-04-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hatchy will be competing in the "Patchy" category, and judging by that scraggle, he's gonna be tough to beat. Also he plans to give himself a haircut to match his face:

"I might also patch up the top o' my head, so i've got matching patch. A Match Patch, if you will."

That does it: I've got Hatchy Fever!

"You Are So Beautiful, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Facial Hair"

2006-04-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

Jeremy and I put together this video as a tribute to famous beards and moustaches. We'll screen a version of it for the Lifetime Achievement Awards @ NYCBMC. Feel free to suggest clips that we may have missed in the comments section.

UPDATE: The video is also available via YouTube, although people have been complaining about the load time.

Cheney's a liar!

2006-04-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

Just kidding. No political stuff here. Except for this!

Last night Burke sent me this picture with an email that ended thusly:

"Okay this godamn message has taken me so long to write as I'm fryin balls and want to get back to it."

UPDATE: Training to be the NYCBMC Mascot

2006-04-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Jamie writes:

"It appears that there has been a minor setback with my training regimen. Since the weather up here has quickly shifted from winter to spring, my Nordic training sessions have melted with the snow. These inevitable events have forced to come down from the mountains and continue my training on the flatland. I choose the UVM soccer field as my new arena. Wind sprints, suicides, and bleachers all became standard fare, that is until this past Thursday.

Since my rabbit costume needed to be returned for the Easter holiday, I was forced to find something more suitable for the campus setting. A domesticated dog was my costume of choice. Clearly, no one questions a giant canine timing himself in the mile run. Aside from the obvious differences between the rabbit and the dog costumes (floppy vs. cropped ears, fluffy vs. long tail, etc.) there are other, subtler differences that I would come to realize.

The oversized head of the dog made it rather difficult to maneuver, particularly when running a set of bleachers. In the middle of my second set I landed awkwardly on my left paw. Unable to regain my balance due to the oversized head, I began to tumble.

When I came to, I was in the back of an ambulance. Thankfully, a mild concussion and a twisted ankle are my only injuries, and, as you know, they are both a long way from the heart.

The picture above was apparently taken while I was unconscious..."

Local Kiwanis don't endorse Burke's restaurant

2006-04-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

I was googling Rambling Jack's (the restaurant that Burke works at) for images, and I came across this passage written by Jan Britt, secretary of the Olympia Kiwanis Club:

"With Ruby’s closed today – even though it’s posted hours indicated it should be open – we need to consider another location for Board meetings. Rambling Jack's is very noisy and not good for meeting. After discussion Charley Barron will check with Charles Shelan and see if we can meet at the CYS meeting room and “brown bag” our lunches."

For those who are interested, Olympia Kiwanis meetings are now every Monday at noon in the Viewpoint Room at Tugboat Annie's.

Update: Burke's getting his shifts covered

2006-04-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

This is good news. Burke writes:

"I work at a restaurant called Ramblin' Jacks located in downtown Olympia. I'm just a lowly kitchen worker there, washing dishes, prep cooking, and I'm in charge of loading/unloading the smoker. The owner is a local guy who owns 2 other restaurants. I've been working for him for about 3 years now and he thinks I'm awesome, but is hesitant to make me a line cook because of my beard.

Anyway it's no problem to get shifts covered. I'll make sure the post will say I'm going to the NYCBMC."

New Contestant: Mike Von Michael

2006-04-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

MVM writes: "My Mustache can fly. And it has x-ray vision."

What the devil?!

Burke's Underground Spaghetti Cafe

2006-04-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

Burke's dedication to his sport is a source of inspiration:

"So in a couple weeks I'm holding an "underground spaghetti cafe" to raise money to get to the championship. I've attached the flyer I made, check it out. I'll definitely have some cash for high livin in a hotel.

Oh, one more thing, I work on Friday, Saturday, & Sunday. The championship is on a Tuesday. Think I'll be good or should I get shift(s) covered?"

Anybody want to cover his shift for him? (You'll have to be in Olympia, Washington the weekend of May 12th)

"Y'know how they discovered hairy lobsters recently?"

2006-04-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

Carol writes:

"(I vote for) Shark E. Sideburns, but if you could find a lobster costume, that would be even better. Y'know how they discovered hairy lobsters recently?"

She's right. The secret is out.

Country Club & The Porn Horns

2006-04-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

Tim informs me that he's officially booked our opening band, and they are Country Club & The Porn Horns

Here's what they have to say:

"We'll polish up a ZZtop cover, and we have a new Zappa cover to throw in as an homage to some of the great facial hair designs in rock history."

FunFaq^TM: The caption on the CC&TPH website for the above pic is: "A hawk's eye view from the side of the stage."

If anyone brings a real Hawk to NYCBMC, they will get in free. So will the Hawk.

UPDATE: Training to be the NYCBMC Mascot

2006-04-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

Jamie, the mascot in training, writes:

"before assuming any role, i find it incredibly important to submerse myself in the culture of the character i will be portraying. In this case, i have been involved in an intensive, six week training regiment involving physical and emotional role play. At times, i was so exausted and overwhelmed by my training, that i heavily debated the idea of quitting...thats right, walking away. It was during those difficult times that i was faced with two options. I could either cut and run, and walk away from the mascot business forever. Or, i could dig deep, pick myself up with my own two paws, take a deep breath, and continue my training. Here I am doing such a thing, during one of my recent nordic workouts..."

UPDATE: Voting

2006-04-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Here's what the results are so far:

Lifetime Achievement
1st place: ZZTop
2nd place: Tom Sellick
3rd place: Abe Lincoln

Mascot
1st place: Stachy Squirrel
2nd place: Shark E. Sideburns
3rd place: Whisker Wolf

Burke's name
1st place: Squattin' Thomas
2nd place: Ruckus
3rd place: Lady Duke

Dobner!
1st place: Totally
2nd place: No Way

Frank's Coming to Town

2006-04-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

I just recieved word that 2005 World Garibaldi Champion Frank Madera will be travelling with Gary Johnson to NYCBMC. If you see Frank at the event, there's no question that he will be drinking a Captain Morgan's and Coke. Be sure to ask him about "the tattoo." Although he'll probably ask you which one, and then you'll have to specify "the one that's a perfect likeness of the Captain Morgan logo on your calf." That should clarify things.

Frank is pictured above with Heinz Christophel, otherwise known as 'The Captain Hook Guy,' or 'The only person who chose Alex Trebek for the Lifetime Achievement Award'

Gary Johnson to be a Judge @ NYCBMC!

2006-04-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

2003 World Beard and Moustache Champion Gary Johnson writes:

'Right on sounds like a happening! If you would send me some recommendations on a Flop House to stay at, close to our first dive in Amsterdam is good enough doubt if I'll be spending much time there anyway. Can't wait ready fir another "Road Trip."'

If you want to get a sense of how Gary might judge the competition, I recommend checking out these 2 video clips:

1) Gary gets stuck in a bathroom

2) Gary in the "flophouse" in Amsterdam trying to open a door

Training to be the NYCBMC Mascot

2006-04-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

Got this update from Jamie, who will be donning the mascot costume @ NYCBMC:

i have begun a strict training routine so i will be at the top of my game for this event. one of my practices in the uvm (university of vermont) fieldhouse involved a series of suicides while wearing six sweatshirts, three pair of pants and a garbage bag over my head with two tiny eye cuts and what i like to call my breath hole.

"Is Herbert Dobner going to be there?"

2006-04-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

Amy writes in with the best question I've gotten so far:

"Is Herbert Dobner going to be there?? I am a huge fan of his and so are all my friends. Please write back."

The answer is: I have no idea. However, I did find out who he is and I can get a message to him if you'd like. Perhaps a petition is in order? Or a Poll? That's it, we're starting another poll! Look out!

Question: Should Herb Dobner come to NYCBMC?

Also, if anyone wants to leave a message for Dobner, do so in the comments section and I'll be sure to forward them to him. When/if he responds, I'll post it.

This guy just voted for Alex Trebek

2006-04-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

This is Heinz Christophel, the holder of multiple Full Beard Freestyle World Championships, and a major player in German Beard Politics (2 years ago he came within a whisker of taking the presidency of the Association of German Beard clubs). Also, he likes to dress up like Captain Hook. I don't know if that factored into the voting or not.

Surprisingly, Cristophel decided to throw his weight behind Trebek in the Lifetime Achievement Award Voting, just as I was about to pull him in favor of Mr. T.

Bearduary

2006-04-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

Bearduary - The period beginning January 1st and ending March 1st, during which it is appropriate to grow a beard.

Check out the short documentary "Bearduary" directed by Sai Sriskandarajah.

www.bearduary.com

Help Choose This Guy's Stage Name

2006-04-01T09:55:00.000-08:00

I decided to turn his list into a poll, so go ahead and tell Burke what his stage name should be. Results will be divulged the night of the event, when Burke (AKA ?) steps on stage to whoop tail.

FunFakt^TM: Burke competed at the 2005 World Beard & Moustache Championships in Berlin and took 5th place in the "Full Beard with Styled Upper Lip" Category.

Lifetime Achievement Award Nominatons

2006-04-01T08:29:00.000-08:00

Jamie wrote in to protest that the NYCBMC Lifetime Achievement Awards have snubbed Al from Home Improvement and the Wild Things from Where the Wild Things Are . Wild Things, Al: I'm sorry.

Click here to vote for Al or the Wild Things.

FunFakt^TM: Richard Karn (the guy who played Al from Home Improvement) was also in Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, and something called MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate.

Shark E. Sideburns finally gets a vote!

2006-04-01T08:14:00.000-08:00

VOTING UPDATE: Goatee Gator + ZZTOP are off to a quick start

2006-03-31T10:04:00.000-08:00

If you would have told me 3 days ago that "Goatee Gator" was gonna be ahead early in the Mascot Voting, I would have taken a swing at you, apologized for my intemperance, and offered to discuss the matter over a sumptuous Krackle Bar, my treat. Having allayed your fear with the anticipation of a Krackle bar, I would have then unleashed a fearsome double fisted punch to both kidneys, Texas style.

Nevertheless, Goatee Gator is out in front, with Ibrahim, Stachey the Squirrel, Whisker Wolf and Beard Beak holding up the rear. Much like Alex Trebek in the Lifetime Achievement voting, Shark E. Sideburns has yet to recieve a single vote.

Also, Mike has suggested a new candidate, whom he proposes to call "Fraulein Hare":

In terms of Lifetime Achievement voting, ZZTOP continues at the head of the pack, with Tom Selleck, Abe Lincoln, and Willy Nelson in pursuit. As I mentioned before, Alex Trebeck has gotten zero votes. Frankly, I hope it stays that way.

NEW CATEGORY: "Patchy"

2006-03-30T11:50:00.000-08:00

We decided to include a new category called "Patchy," for people who only get those scattered patches of hair. Sign up here.

Also, "Female Artificial" is now just "Artifical," on behalf of prospective cross-dressers.

The Mascot Question

2006-03-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

Just recieved this email from Jamie Strotmeyer, who will be playing the mascot @ NYCBMC:

here is the deal, my friend. it is true. i have often thought of/dreamed/fantasized about seeing the world through the eyes of a squirrel. it is truly a remarkable animal, and i would be crazy to pass up this opportunity. turns out, the only other animal i have had a healthy obsession with (besides the hermit crab) is the shark. to this day, i hope that my last moments of life are spent being torn to pieces in the jaws of a great white, and the whole scene is caught by a japanese tourist on his hand held video camera. if you zoom in close enough, you'd swear i was smiling.

alas, the conflict arises. i love both squirrles and sharks equally. a love this deep cannot show favoritism, you know that. is it possible to wear the body of the shark and the head of she squirrel, or vice versa. perhaps the only other solution is the elf costume...

We're very curious for your input, so go vote, and feel free to write in a combo, like Jamie suggested. Maybe you'd like to see a shark/squirrel or elf pants on a penguin body. That's fine. If you want to suggest your own mascot, click here to see what the options are.

VOTING UPDATE

2006-03-30T07:08:00.000-08:00

ZZTop is dominating the lifetime achievement voting. Alex Trebek has gotten no votes at all. Click here to vote it up!

Rock the vote and/or die!

2006-03-29T16:12:00.000-08:00

I just put links up so that people can vote for the NYCBMC Lifetime Achievement Award and elect a Mascot. Get to it!

The Legendary Assquatch

2006-03-29T10:26:00.000-08:00

Got an application from "The Legendary Assquatch" yesterday.

He sounds like a real handful:

"Assquatch is ready to wake up the US and rip those fake staches off those German Fucks."

Assquatch!

Jay "The New Capital One guy" Klaitz will sing National Anthem @ NYCBMC

2006-03-28T08:55:00.000-08:00

Here's his commercial:

I want to get him a suit like this:

If anyone has an idea for something they'd rather see him wear, leave a comment below. "Nothing" and "Whatever his regular clothes are" are acceptable suggestions.

"Is the RBC a real River Boat Captain or is that just a costume?"

2006-03-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

Mavis18, thanks for your question. I met Dennis Dickerson when he was competing in Berlin, and let me tell you something: he's the real deal. And by real deal I mean I think he mentioned something about it. Anyway, he's got the hat.

UPDATE: Heard back from the RBC regarding his chops. He says:

"I have a 100 ton inland masters license from the US Merchant Marines, and am also a Retired Coast Guard Reserve Officer as well."

Then he signed his email like this:

"Rollin on the River,
-The RBC"

Click here to see the RBC in action. He invites you to take a trip with him on the Potomac this summer.

Phil Olsen to be on Howard Stern

2006-03-27T10:01:00.000-08:00

Here's what he had to say about it:

OK, I just finished the interview. It was not what I expected. Lisa G, who is the news director for the Stearn show, interviewed me for about 10 minutes and recorded the interview. She said the interview will be broadcast on their (Howard Stearns' show's) news segment later this week. She is not sure when, but she will try to send me an email letting me know.

Gawker: NYT Beard Article Backlash

2006-03-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

An anonymous source accuses Eric Wilson of fabricating part of his 'Beards Are Cool Again' article in Thursday Styles.

*The picture for this post came from googling "Eric Wilson." Turns out, an Eric Wilson who belongs to the UK Wing Chun Kung Fu Association almost certainly has better abs than Eric Wilson the NYT writer. This video clip supports my hypothesis.

Here comes trouble!

2006-03-24T02:06:00.000-08:00

I've just recieved word that US Beard and Moustache Team member Dennis Dickerson will be competing at the NYCBMC.

Known as the "River Boat Captain," or "RBC" for short, Dennis took 11th place in the Full Beard Garibaldi category at the 2005 World Beard and Moustache Championships in Berlin.

*Here's a FunFact^TM for you: for the first time in WBMC history, an American medaled in the Garibaldi at Berlin, when rookie Frank Madera took 3rd. (He's the guy in all the Biker gear on the right.) Amazingly, Frank's preparation for the event consisted of getting powerfully f'd up with a film crew in Amsterdam. Such is the glory of sport.

Anyways, we didn't expect that members of the national team would be competing at the NYCBMC, but there you have it. The RBC has thrown down the gauntlet.

Those wishing to send the Captain upriver should sign up here to compete.

NYT: Is that beard from Dolce & Gabbana?

2006-03-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

Eric Wilson writes:

"At hipster hangouts and within fashion circles, the bearded revolution that began with raffishly trimmed whiskers a year or more ago has evolved into full-fledged Benjamin Harrisons. At New York Fashion Week last month at least a half-dozen designers turned up with furry faces."

Here's the article.

"Remember a couple days ago, you still wanting to get jumbo?"

2006-03-23T06:16:00.000-08:00

That was the subject of an email I got this morning. It included the sentence:
"Einstein became a clerk at the Swiss Patent Office in 1902," and then it was signed "Dendy." Now that's what I call email.

"I saw Kenny Rogers outside Time Square Studios this morning at 9ish"

2006-03-22T04:53:00.000-08:00

Rogers is in town.

Bring on the Lincolns!

2006-03-22T04:14:00.000-08:00

As mentioned before, I've been hot on the trail of the Association of Lincoln Presenters. Well, I heard back from ALP Vice President Stan Wernz, who's busy preparing for their 2006 Convention at the Quality Hotel and Suites in Cincinnati. Stan informs me that there are in fact 7 ALP members in the New York area, and I'm making a personal appeal for their presence at NYCBMC.

By the way, I think the ALP made a bold choice for their 2006 convention logo. Check it out:

According to their site, the ALP Convention Committee are "hard at work selecting the places we'll visit in 2006," and one of their stated options is The Osborne Coinage Factory. Gentleman, my family used to make the pilgrimmage every Spring, so let me tell you that it's a no brainer. Put it on the list. You will not be sorry.

"My chest hair measures 40cm and sometimes if people ask me if my moustache is real I show them my chest hair."

2006-03-20T08:29:00.000-08:00

BTUSA captain Phil Olsen informs us that Mohammed Rashid and his world record moustache are on a world tour, although mostly that tour seems to consist of going to a mall in Bahrain. Nevertheless, with a stache that once measured 71", and chest hair that clocks in at 15", Mohammed is man hair royalty.

At Phil's urging, I will probably give this cat a call and see if he wants to come to New York for the NYCBMC. Then I'll have to remind myself that today was the day that I chose to buy a calling card for Turkey so that I can contact someone with 15" chest hair (incidentally, that puts him at #3 in the world chest hair rankings).

The Bahrain Gulf Daily News has a scintillating interview with Mohammed Rashid here.

Big Update!

2006-03-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

The official site for The NYC BMC is up. It's still being updated but a lot of the info is there. Don't forget to check back often for more details and goodies.

The New York City Beard and Moustache Championships
The Knitting Factory Mainspace
Tuesday May 16, 8PM

Tickets, lineups, info:
http://www.nycbeard.com/

Kenny Rogers uses Photoshop

2006-01-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

But apparently he's having problems with his digital camera.

Bugbear!

2006-01-25T09:49:00.000-08:00

Today I used the word "bugbear" in a sentence for the first time. The sentence was:

"It has been a bit of a bugbear, but i think in the end it will be worth it."

A synonym for "bugbear" is "bugaboo."

Nightline: Are Beards Back?

2006-01-19T09:05:00.000-08:00

ABC's Nightline just aired a segment siting the return of the beard. Here's the link.

Phil Olsen speaks out on beards + NFL Quarterbacks

2006-01-18T07:18:00.000-08:00

From the New York Times:

"It's absolutely a revolution," said Phil Olsen, the self-appointed captain of Beard Team U.S.A., which competes in the biannual World Beard and Moustache Championships. At the recent event in Berlin, an American captured just one of the 17 events: sideburns. But Americans are increasingly competitive, Olsen said, making his truly a growth sport.

As he put it: "Men are saying, 'We are going to be who we want to be.' "

Here's the article.

Blimps are cool again!

2006-01-18T07:13:00.000-08:00

I know this doesn't have much to do with beard and mustaches, but it's too exciting to ignore.

These Guys Are Going To Be On Time

2006-01-13T10:43:00.000-08:00

HOSTED BY....

2006-01-13T08:34:00.000-08:00

Make your list!

2006-01-13T07:09:00.000-08:00

In terms of the NYCBMC teaser, we should put together something like the Dog Show Party "All for Love" Video. Start compiling your list of famous actors with beards or mustaches, or famous actresses wearing fake beards and mustaches. Also, start thinking about music.

What the devil?

2006-01-12T21:52:00.000-08:00

New Yorker Cartooon: Caption Contest Entry

2006-01-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

"Does this snake make me look like Sarah Jessica Parker?"

A Stirring Monolgue performed By Jim Cooke as President Calvin Coolidge

2006-01-12T06:35:00.000-08:00

Jim Cooke is the leading Calvin Coolidge impersonator in the world. In this monologue, President Coolidge/ Jim Cooke describes the scene when he was first informed that Warren Harding had died, and it was now up to him to be the next President of the United States.

Jim Cooke is officially affiliated with the Association of Lincoln Presenters, although he does not dress up or talk like Lincoln.

My email to The Association of Abe Lincoln Presenters

2006-01-12T06:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Borror,

I'm trying to get in contact with the Association of Abe Lincoln Presenters in order to invite your group to make a presentation at the New York City Beard and Mustache Championships this spring. The NYCBMC are a charitable event being held for the first time ever in New York. Because of Lincoln's famous beard, I was thinking it would be a great opportunity for your group to get some exposure, present some information about Honest Abe, and have a great time to boot! (not literally. i just mean you'll have a great time). If you or someone in your community would be interested, please let me know.

Hope to hear from you soon!

-Jon Bulette

Cambone!

2006-01-11T18:57:00.000-08:00

New Logo.

2006-01-11T13:40:00.000-08:00

The logo

2006-01-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

Here's the model:

That with a stache + NYC:BMC title.

nycbeard.com is online

2006-01-11T11:01:00.000-08:00

as it turns out, the very first nycbeard.com page ever made contains a picture of dr. stephen cambone.

Cambone!

The "All for love" video is back.

2006-01-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

Watch it here

New Yorker Cartooon: Caption Contest Entry

2006-01-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

"You only have one breast. And an unruly clam 'stache."

I Believe in You

2006-01-03T20:14:00.000-08:00

Wooly Willy

2006-01-03T15:16:00.000-08:00

Only the Hungry

2006-01-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to the beautiful boys.

Seasonal Fissure Syndrome (SFS)

2005-12-31T10:56:00.001-08:00

SFS Victims

A note from the FDA:

"In this season of holiday snacking, please remember that peanuts are the shrapnel of the anus."

2005-12-19T18:15:00.000-08:00

Dog Show Party website updated!

2005-12-18T19:24:00.000-08:00

The Dog Show Party url has been swiped away!

http://www.dogshowparty.com/

Also, men holding their sombrero's by their side:

New Category ?

2005-12-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

Little worried-- still haven't gotten shin-pei a present for the big day. Usually we do something special to celebrate the 749th anniversary of Hulago Khan's capture and desturuction of the ancient Hashshashin city of Halamut, but this year I've been too busy.

Maybe we should add a "Mongol Horde" category to the NYC:BMC, or something more politically correct, like "Central Asian Marauder".

BTW-- that pic is very relevant to Holago Khan

Mustache

2005-12-13T10:27:00.000-08:00

How do you spell mustache anyway? Is it mustache or moustache? Eeeeek, a mouse!